So Long Bangkok

We leave tomorrow, this last post is a short high-lites video from our time in Bangkok.

We had a great time!

When Chaka Khan grabbed french fry filled with gargle.

CCR fans know this one

Dinner - 2010 Oct. 28

After this afternoon's shrimp lunch I ate nothing until now, 9:15pm BKK time.  I ordered a pepperoni pizza and a couple of Chang beers from the hotel restaurant.

The pepperoni was edible.  Not super tasty but passable.  I don't know what kind of meat it was, but it was ok.

The the rest of the pizza? .... DAAANG it was good.  It was thin NY style with some crazy good gooey cheese.

I don't know what cheese they used, it didn't taste like mozzarella or for that matter like any other cheese I've eaten.  For all I know it was elephant milk cheese.  I don't care....it was great.

I'm boring myself with these food posts.
This will be the last one.

Lunch - 2010 Oct. 28

I'm walking around town earlier today when I realize I haven't eaten since breakfast III.

I notice an Australian restaurant across the street so I dodge cars, tuk tuk's,  motorcycles, elephants, etc etc etc and enter the bar.  I head to the counter and find an empty seat.

I order a Chang beer while I look at the menu.  Order a second beer, decide against the burger and order the shrimp.  The shrimp is listed as an appetizer and comes with three shrimp, bread, and salad.  For a little bit of extra money you can double your order of shrimp to 6.

Three shrimp?  I'm sure they're big but come on!  Three shrimp is still three shrimp.  I fork over the money for three additional shrimp and order another beer.

I finish that beer, order a fourth beer and ask about the status of my lunch.

"u fud now" I'm told.

Sure enough after a few minutes my plate of shrimp shows up.

When you think shrimp you think small, diminutive, pop in your mouth snacks.  Maybe if you're in a Chinese restaurant you'll get the big butterfly shrimp.  That's as big as shrimp come, right?

WRONG.  These shrimp were bigger than my hand.  The were medium sized lobsters!

I couldn't believe these things have swam on the ocean for millions of years and only now make it onto my plate.

I wasn't able to eat all six.

The entire meal, including four beers, came to 300 Baht.
About $10.

AAARGH!

The Chinaman behind me is the photobomb king of Asia.

Grand Palace

Instead of boring you with details of the palace just Google it if you're really interested in learning about it.  In the meantime look at the purdy pictures.

Want to make some money?

Buy 7-11 stock.

These pictures where taken in a 1.609344 kilometer stretch while stuck in traffic.  For the crackers out there 1.609344 km = 1 mile.

More 7-11's here than Starbucks in the U.S., no joke.

Monk-ie business

Get it?  Monks....Monkey Business.  Even half a world away I still kill me!

Lady Killer

Ladies, you know you want some-a-that!

When Gregor the Gigolo struts his stuff all the Eastern European babushkas go crazy.

Matching outfit, wife beater T, D&G shades, gold chain, murse (man purse), and I'm damned certain there's a thong somewhere in the ensemble.

oh-yeah..chica boom chica boom

Skeeve Factor Revisited

Old dude with young woman having dinner.  They're all over the place here and they don't hide the fact that it's nothing but a business transaction.

I debated posting this picture.  In the end I determined I was far enough and the image is blurry enough that you can't make out faces.  Not that it would have mattered.  Seriously, it's not like anyone reads my dribble.

Critical Mass

For fish it looks good as hell don't it?

My Moore's law experiment with Thai food is near critical mass, the point in which momentum builds on itself and turns the project self-sustaining.  A few more meals and I will be at critical mass.

Tonight could have been a bad turning point in this experiment. Jeana ordered, and ate, the fish pictured (I stuck to pork, you can't deny Cuban roots what it wants).

I'm don't care for fish so if I took a bite and didn't like it then my theory would have been proven wrong.  Luckily I didn't eat the fish so the TFT (Thai Food Theory) still holds.  Each meal is better than the last.

Tough Day

Rough day today.

I didn't leave the hotel . I stubbed my toe so I took a sick day (no joke, I stubbed it really bad).

I went to the sauna then the pool, had lunch of papaya salad then a beer, beer, beer, beer.

After healing my toe I went back to the room, napped, woke up, had more beer.

Jeana is still at work so I think I'll have another beer.

I like my women like I like my flowers. White and soapy.

We came across this guy in an outdoor market  He carves a bar of soap into a flower then paints it, the end result looks like a little flower.  I shot this video with my point and shoot so the quality is not very good which makes it difficult to see detail.  But believe me, it looked cool.

Jim Thompson House

Jim Thompson was an American that first came to Thailand after WWII while with the OSS, the precursor to the CIA.  He fell in love with Bangkok and moved here in the 50's.  He is credited with growing the Thai silk industry and making it what it is today.  In 1967 he was visiting friends in Malaysia, went for a walk and was never seen or heard from again.

Jim Thompson

Some think he purposely disappeared and re-joined the CIA.  Others think that he could have been bitten by a snake or attacked by an animal.  The area he was walking through was known for wild animal attacks.  More likely than not Jim Thompson met his demise in the jaws of a tiger or the fangs of a poisonous snake.

His house stands as it did when he left it.  It's a neat tour of a traditional Thai house.  He was huge into eastern art so there's a ton of antiquities from Southeast Asia on display at his home.

Jim Thompson's House

Frankly, I never heard of the guy until we arrived but he's a big thing here.  He's nephew inherited the house.  Saw the marketing potential and expanded on the myth of Jim Thompson.  Aside from the house and museum there are shops throughout Bangkok that sell all sort of Jim Thompson goods.  From silk to leather to snacks.

What I could do without.

Washer/Dryer in our room

As much as I like everything about Thailand there are three things I could do without.  Two are not pictured.

1. The 8 hour cycle on the combo washer/dryer.  These things are small, I can barely fit my socks and underwear at the same time.  Couple that with a wash and dry time that's long enough to weave new fabric and sew your own clothing.   It makes laundry day a whole new form of hell.

2. The toilet paper situation.  I'm not sure what the pooping habits of the locals is.  From what I can tell they must poo rose scented air because toilet paper is handed out in minuscule quantities.  A new roll of toilet paper is less than half the size of a regular red white and blue bacon loving flag draped good ol' American TP!  I have gone through a roll in one sitting.  It has made for some nasty arguments between me and Jeana.

3. Lastly, the sizing chart for clothes.  We were shopping and walked into a silk store.  I wandered into the mens section and was looking at the underwear.

The general management was generous enough to provided a conversion chart from Thai to American sizing.

S - 24 waist / M - 28 waist / L - 32 waist / XL - 36 waist

I wear a 40.  There is no sizing available for me.  Even if I wanted to I couldn't buy underwear.  There must be no word in the Thai language for 40 waist.  They suck.

Room for J - E - L - L - O?

FUPA be gone.

Nope.  Man, I'm full!  You can't tell because I cropped my FUPA out of the picture.  If you're not familiar with the acronym FUPA don't look it up.  It's not family friendly.

I don't know if Moore's law applies to food but I'm testing the theory.  For the non-techies out there, Moore's law states that "The number of transistors that can be placed inexpensively on an integrated circuit has doubled approximately every two years." 


This means that computing power doubles every 2 years.  That's why the computer you buy today makes a great paper weight tomorrow.

Me. Jeana. Dinner. Here. Good

What does Moore's law have to do with food?  Each meal I've eaten in Bangkok has been better that the previous meal.  Eventually there has to be a breaking point.  Sooner or later the food will suck.  Meals can't get better and better with every sitting, or can they? 


I don't know what crack they season the vegetables with but dang it I want more!  I wont try to describe the taste because I'll only embarrass myself.  Suffice it to say that this is the best food I have ever eaten.  


Each meal better than the last!

Stay Thirsty My Friends

I don't always drink beer.  But when I do I prefer Dos X.

Wait, who am I kidding. I always drink beer.

Scenes From Today

We rode a long boat through the Chao Phraya River.  There's a scene in James Bond's The Man with the Golden Gun in which Roger Moore chases Scaramanga's henchmen through this river.  I didn't feel like James Bond.  I felt like the other dude in the boat with him, Sheriff J.W. Pepper, the fat guy sliding all over the place.



Traffic jam on the river.  Waiting for the gates of the canal to open and let us through.

Tuk Tuks are three wheeled death and pollution conveyances. They're a fun way to get around and see the city.  They're used predominately by tourist, you'll  never see a self respecting Thai riding one of these.  But they can't be beat for the cost.  For 100 Baht (about $3) we were whisked clear across town.

The problem with these things, aside from the obvious safety factor, is the open air.  I'm not talking about Colorado farm fresh mountain country air. I'm talking polluted stinky nausea inducing barely breathable air.

Which of these is not like the other?

Red wire goes to green wire?
No, green wire goes to blue?
Crap, just connect it anywhere!

You are here!

Drinks at a bar in Sukhumvit

The humidity here is crazy....a lot like Miami.  It feels good because it clears out the old nostrils.  It's great to breathe again.  No more morning snot rockets in the shower.  TMI?

A cool thing and a not so cool thing:

There is a big European presence in Thailand.  Germans, Brit's, French, they're all over the place.  Australians are a big part of the tourist trade as well.  I've only seen a handful of Americans, which can be good or bad depending on your opinion.

The not so cool thing.  There's a HUGE and I mean HUGE skeeve factor with the Europeans. In the pictures above, while having drinks, we sat at a table on the edge of the street.  All sorts of people walked by and for the most part they were "normal".  Well, as normal as Europeans can be. Take that Frenchie's!

Where was I?  Oh yeah, the freaks.  Every so often an older dude, either European but once in a while American, would walk by with a young Thai woman on his arm.  A dude with a chick is not a bad thing.  But let me clarify the word "dude" and the word "chick".  By dude I mean a geriatric depends addled bastard and by chick I mean a gal pushing late teens.

These cats stroll down the street in the un-tucked polo's, skinny jeans, and puma high tops.  Gray hair jelled and geritol/viagra in the back pocket.

Listen, I'm all for these old dude's getting their rocks off.  More power to them, but the fact that it was so blatant is what threw me off.  Jeana says that after a day or two  you get used to it and won't think twice about it.

Here's looking forward to Monday.

Bangkok

Notes from the road:

We arrived in Bangkok on Friday 11:30am local time which would make it Thursday 10:30pm in Denver (I think).

Blogger works here so I was able to change the previous post to show the Shanghai video in hi-def.

My willyhernandez.com email doesn't work. For whatever reason my hosting company's exchange services are blocked in Thailand. That means that I will not be able to see or send any emails to or from willyhernandez.com

I'm going to try a few workarounds, if they do not work I'll post my gmail address here for any one who wants to send an email. Or you can just post a message in the blog.

First take on Bangkok: Shanghai was great, history, people, the food, it was all amazing. But Bangok, oh man Bangkok. This place is off the charts. The city is alive, people in the streets, vendors hawking food, toys, anything and everything you can imagine.

I just ate what could possibly be one of the ten best meals I've had, definately the best in this trip. Pork stomach tenders with steamed greens in garlic. You can't go wrong with pork but EVEN the vegetable was delicious! You read right. I, ye of no vegetable shall enter my gullet, said "EVEN the vegetabe was delicious". They were.

The picture is the view from our room.

A Minute in Shanghai

I leave you with a short one minute clip of our trip to Shanghai.

I'll post more once we're in Thailand.

Engrish still funny

I don't really know what this place does. As far as I could tell they sold grilled corn.

Engrish

What's more Italian than a restaurant called "Face Look Restaurant and Cheese Cake"? I'll tell you what, an image of Spanish literature's Don Quixote wearing a British top hat and smoking a cigar. If that don't get you in the mood for a canoli you just aint alive!

Best store EVER!

MY LASER BEAM EYES AND MY SNEER WILL SLICE THROUGH MEDDLING ASIANS UNTIL I HAVE COFFEE!!!

Starbucks really is everywhere. But it taste like ass here.

USA USA USA

Local's love American culture here. Budweiser ads are all over the place.

Then I walked by a place called "Every Day USA". It was closed but I peeked in the window. It reminds me of Chochtkies from Office Space, I wonder what the flair policy is.